It sucks being the guilty one.  All I want to do is go out to the woods without supplies, to somewhere no one will ever find me and die alone.  That would be the easy way out.  Instead, I have to face the music, over and over while “time heals” this mess I’ve made.  I don’t expect things to be better overnight, or to even to be forgiven my transgressions.  

  Even if I had no thought of how it would make her or the rest of my family feel, I could never do that for my daughter’s sake.  Instead, I’m here, trying my best to make things right again.  I won’t do anything foolish, but don’t blame me for praying for a catastrophic accident that ends it all.

This will be my last run for a while. Did the route ATN w/ SF hill. Windy & cold this time. Knee hurt like crazy-cakes from the get go. On the plus side, I saw three bright blue flashes in the sky like transformers were blowing up. :)

3.6 PPTR (Priest Point Trail Run). Knee hurt like crazy later.

No running today or Friday. I was saving myself yesterday for today, then I didn’t get up in in time to run early.

Weighed-in @ 180!

Wednesday, March 1, 2012 3 miles ATN, Knee wrapped. No knee pain today.

3 miles ATN. First run with new shoes (ADIDAS Supernova Sequence 4M). Wore an ace bandage knee brace/wrap. 30 minutes post-run and no knee pain.

4.5 miles around the lake. First 20 minutes were 1 minute sprint/walk intervals. Then 1.5 miles continuous jogging followed by about 0.75 miles walking cool down.

3 Miles around the neighborhood (ATN)

Ran 3 miles. Knee wasn’t great but it felt a little better than it has been. We’ll see as the day goes on.

Weigh-in: 181.5

Run: 3 miles in the cold and rain. Knee still hurts.